So I realized the other day while scrolling through the sea of Facebook posts on my newsfeed that I am so unplugged when it comes to what is happening in America right now. I see headlines or links to articles that friends have posted as their status updates, and I just have no idea what is going on in the motherland.
The Boston Red Sox won the World Series? (More important question: The World Series had started AND finished already this year?)
Great. Didn’t even register that was happening right now. People were writing status updates like “OMG.” “YES.” “BOOM SHAKALAKA.” “WE DID IT!” We did what? What did you do? Tell me!
And I was assuming all of this celebration must have had something to do with finally consuming that really great ice cream sundae they had at work or finding a HIGH-larious Buzzfeed article to send to their bestie about “849592 you and your BFF totally do every day.” But no. It was about the Boston Red Sox. They had won. SPORTS. YAY.
And then there was this moment.
When I thought for the first few lines that this was a real letter. And I was INFURIATED. How dare Michelle Obama be writing this kind of response? When our country is in the state it is in, you would think and hope that people were doing better things with their time in the White House. I was about to send a snarky message to all of my liberal friends to prove. them. wrong. about their silly vote in 2012 to elect the Obamas, when I realized it was a fake letter.
So just to clarify to everyone else. Michelle Obama and Kanye West are not in conversation over letters about Kim-bear. Yet.
However, I am proud to report that I am very much clued in to what is happening in China right now.
Did you know a man got a yogurt related injury in the face the other day? The yogurt brand is Wahaha. First of all, what a name. Second of all, if I were working for Activia right now in China (which as we all know, was actually my second job of choice), I would have totally used this as a promotional campaign for Activia yogurt.
What about the guy with the knife coming out of his head that waited in the emergency room, with the knife still in his head, while no one helped him? Yes, I do in fact know all of the gory and really useful details about that one too.
I’m going to stop before I overwhelm all of you with my knowledge base of news-breaking China related stories and conclude instead by saying, perhaps it’s time for me to crack open the New York Times to reconnect with what’s happening in the world.